Resistance is Futile.

Live somewhere, and you will be assimilated.

On the plane to Thailand, I read a line that intrigued me in Fluent in 3 months - about how your mannerisms, even ways of dressing would affect if people chose to stay in-language with you.

Here, without really even noticing, I’ve been slowly shifting, changing. Picking up little bits of cultural habit without even knowing. They’re different, odd, and fascinating. They tell us so much about a people. They’re things like this:

Eating with a spoon and fork, together.

This is now such an ingrained way of eating for me (and such an easier way to eat!) that I think I’m really going to struggle to go back.

Treating all images of the King with reverence.

This one snuck up on me, in a cool way. I was packing for my move to Chiang Mai, and realized that I was about to pack a mouse pad on top of my spare Baht - which contained the King’s face. Instinctively, I thought, “eek, that’s disrespectful,” and moved the money to a higher place. Minutes later, I realized what I’d done.

Losing my beard.

I’ve had a beard for three years. It’s gone now. Foreigners have beards. Thai men do not. I planned on keeping mine, because I liked it. But eventually, it just felt silly. A big mess of unkempt on my face, shouting “I CAN NOT SPEAK ANY THAI.”

So it disappeared. Did people stay in Thai more readily when they talked to me? Yes.

Wai everything. Especially trees, temples, and everything kind.

It’s a normal thing everyone does - give a wai when passing temples, shrines, important trees, or really anything that’s worth waiing. It’s lovely, and now, without thinking, I do it too.

Walking on the other side of the road.

Driving, too, for that matter. I worried about this a little bit when I first got on my scooter, but it turned out to be a non-issue. Driving and walking are inherently social activities. Your brain just goes along with the flow, no questions asked.

Both driving on the “wrong” side of the road and walking on the “wrong” side of the street are totally normal, natural, and easy. Thank goodness!

Talking quietly.

You’ll rarely see any non-tourists with a raised voice, anywhere in Thailand. In my four months here, I saw it once, and everyone around the person just gave them a back-away-slowly what’s-wrong-with-you vibe. It just isn’t done.

Though I’m not prone to yelling, I am to animated excitement. But here, I’ve had to find ways to use my words, and subtle facial gestures to communicate my enthusiasm. Anything else is crazy person talk.

Moving softer.

I close doors more softly here, put things down more gently, even run more lightly. It happens without me even knowing, following an unspoken principle of life in Thailand: use only the minimum needed force.

Notice ages.

When someone tells me about their family here, they’ll tell me how many older and how many younger siblings there are. Always.

The reason is that age affords respect and status, and that drips through to the language. There are two words for sister: loo sao and lan sao. Older sister, and younger sister. There is a word for a sister whom you don’t know if she’s older or younger, but nobody uses it. You always let people know, as early as possible, everyone’s ages. Otherwise, there would be no way to talk without being disrespectful!

Wearing jeans when it drops below 70.

This one caught me in Chiang Mai. I was sitting out at dinner, taking in the people, and then suddenly, realized that I was wearing shorts. And that I looked ridiculous. The only people I’d seen wearing shorts in the past hour were some bros talking loudly about which bar they were totally gonna get buckets at tonight. I do not want to be those guys. I went home, and ever after, wore the proper jeans.

Realizing I really love this stuff.

Things like this are why I love living all over the world. It gives me a chance to become someone new, understand new ways of living, and find a better version of myself in there.

I can’t wait to see what I assimilate next!